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How do you begin again? Why would you want to? Sometimes our failed attempts at success stop us dead in our tracks. Have you ever really botched something up? I mean so badly that your heart feels like a lead balloon? It happens to the best of us. It can happen to you, me, your neighbor, and your minister... even to our amazing parents who, as children, we believed were infallible.
First, let's start with a dose of reality. If you are living life on this planet, guess what? You make mistakes! Sorry to burst your bubble. Nobody is exempt. It's a part of life like breathing and your heart beating. It will happen to everybody reading this piece. You will blow something. Some of us will make more mistakes than others, and of course there is the seriousness of the issue to be considered. Some of us have made multi- million dollar mistakes. Others have made egregious relationship mistakes. And to really drive home the point, some of us have made "go to prison" kinds of mistakes.
"Freedom is not worth having unless it
allows you the freedom to make mistakes"
~Mahatma Gandhi
No matter the nature and the gravity of what you have done in your life...this article is written to set you free. If you are anything like me, you are probably harder on your self for your transgressions than anybody else. Is that true for you too? I find it interesting how some people are still suffering for what they did years ago. What sense does this make? People who are hard on themselves are usually very hard on the people around them. How could they not be? If you are beating yourself up, you will likely project that same dysfunction outwardly to your team, family, wife, husband, or anyone that you relate with.
I realize this is counter intuitive. This means the people hardest on themselves are usually the last ones to know. It's like the Del Amitri song "Always the last to know"...because everyone knows you beat yourself up but you. What value is there in judging yourself? Allow me to be really clear. There is zero value in it. It's way overrated and most people are pretty good at it. In fact, why do you suppose most of us hang on forever to our past mess ups? We think we have to? We feel it is our debt to society? We think we are sexier that way? Yes, that must be it. We are sexy screw ups!
No, that's not it at all. We simply don't know a different way. We weren't taught how to start fresh. We hang on, hoping and waiting, for that morning when we will wake up with a clean slate. Well guess what? The clean slate is always there underneath the self absorbed loathing that we desperately cling to. Can you relate to that? Your family, friends, and colleagues likely want you off the hook. You are not going to be very pleasant to be around if you are feeling bad about your mistakes. It's actually self absorbed to be miserable for too long. Leaders transform victims to owners. We do it by having the courage to hold out for the greatness in our friends. We do it because we can. We do it because we know that everyone makes mistakes. We hold for the best parts in the human dynamic. We ask ourselves and the people around us to learn from mistakes rather than let them grow.
Want to make it even more interesting? Here goes...the bigger the game you play on this planet the bigger the mistakes you will make. If you are mistake free...I would invite you to look at what mistake avoidance living has created for you? My guess is that it has created safe. Safe is overrated. Safe is only good when you slide into home plate after rounding third. Safety is for OSHA.
So how does one move forward after a mistake? Take a step toward something new. Yes, just take that first step. You don't have to see the entire pre-paved plan to take one simple step. That is all any of us can do...keep on stepping. This is where life happens. Living happens by singing, breathing, and stepping. Life is leadership in action. Each of us must stay in motion. Imagine a humming bird sitting on a park bench pining over a past mistake. The humming bird can't live unless it's moving and feeding.
Don't try to make mistakes go away...because they won't. Own them. Accept your mistakes. Then take a step. Perhaps one day you will start a new business. Maybe you will go on another date. Maybe you will be the next great entrepreneur. Maybe you'll...get the point? It won't happen on the couch or from hanging on to a past mistake. Nothing happens in the past. How could it? The past is over and that is why stepping is so much fun.
So today, I ask you? What mistake have you held onto? Can you let it go? What would be the very next step in moving forward? Will you take it?
"My life does not belong to others and
I am not here to live up to someone else's expectations."
~Nathaniel Brandon
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